"Did you ever think that you used to hide who you really were from your family? Amber, you are the pathalogical liar here. The only people who you have fooled about having ANY amnesia are your parents, sister, and brother. Even your own children are seeing who you really are without your ex-husband saying anything. YOUR actions speak VOLUMES alone! Wether you choose to see it or not... " Anonymous
Above is a comment by a "reader" to a recent blog post of my "Carried Away". I put reader in quotes because I'm pretty sure I know who left this comment or at the least who they associate with. There is a group of people out there who believe that everything I say is a lie and make it a point to try to convince me I'm a worthless piece of crap every chance they get. I want to take the opportunity to say....{cough, cough} YOU ARE PATHETIC!!!
That's right, I don't believe anything you say either. Just because you are convinced that I haven't "fooled" anyone that I have amnesia except my close family (and I can honestly say two psychiatrists, a therapist, several police officer, the nurses at the hospital in Joliet, the people on the show "Disappeared", and several people who kindly show me support on a daily basis sending me messages on Facebook and letting me know that they care and God loves me, although I'm sure you'll still say I'm lying about all of that too since your determination to convince yourself that I am a liar and my ex-husband never did anything to hurt me will go so far as to ignore ANY evidence to the contrary just to make yourself feel better.)
Have I made poor decisions in the past (that go so far beyond "poor" it's pathetic?) Yes, yes I have. Guess what.....SO HAVE YOU!! {Gasp} I know you think you're perfect and no one examining your life would find anything wrong on your lily white soul, but....well.....that's just sad {quite giggle}{look of sympathy}.
I, unfortunately, remember quite a bit about my ex-husband now. If you actually expect me to believe that he isn't badmouthing me to my kids, that just makes me feel even more sorry for you. I just don't believe that he keeps his mouth shut, and I will not drag my kids into the middle of this by asking them. I would never put them in a position where they were made to feel that they had to choose between myself and their father. If you have any other way of convincing me that he isn't saying nasty things about me to the children to try to ruin any bond I still have with them, please let me know. Unlike you, I have an open mind and am more than willing to give people chance after chance in this life, just as the Bible states we should. 70 x 7 my angry reader.
Oh, and before the rest of you judge me for this rather mocking post I will point out two things. One, they were warned. I have made it perfectly clear from the beginning that haters would be mocked mercilessly. Quite honestly, I think I'm being nice. My scathing wit is failing me a bit these days. Must have something to do with Daylight Savings Time or something. Two, below is my initial response that I left as soon as I allowed their response to post (I believe it was a few days after they left the comment, but that was during my week off, so if you would please forgive me.....that'd be great. Moving on):
"You sound very angry, which leads me to believe that you are directly involved with the person (if you aren't actually THE person) mentioned in this blog. Many people out there believe the truth and their love and encouragement are what keep me going daily. You are right, my actions speak very loudly, and I can honestly say that I'm not proud of some of my decisions. I can't change them. God has forgiven me and that is all I can hope for. As for other people forgiving me...that is truly between them and God. Please know that I will pray for you and your anger. My children can only see what they choose to see. I just pray they choose to see the truth. That I am a fallible human being, no perfect by any means, but that I love them with my whole heart and that will never change."
Anyone who TRULY KNEW you before the event, during the event, and post-event knows you speak truth. Those who saw into your marriage intimately know the abuses you endured. Your choices and actions were not always best, but you are owning your missteps, as any maturing person does. The truth has set you free. And because this person does not recognize truth, he will forever be enslaved, unable to see the plank in his own eye or move past his own mistakes, unable to mature as a person or a child of God. He has my pity.
ReplyDeleteOf anyone that may have something they'd like to say on this topic, no one has more right than you (other than myself, naturally) as you went through my personal hell by my side holding my hand the entire way. I am a better person and able to get over the past because of you and your friendship. Thank you for everything!
DeleteForgiveness is difficult at best, especially within ourselves. Each of us has made mistakes and must deal with the consequences here as well as with The Lord above. Amber, you have become stronger and more wise through a very difficult season of your life. I salute your candor and bravery as well as your ability to grow each day. You choose to look forward, reflect on the past but not dwell in it. I pray each day for you and your family. -Kay
ReplyDeleteThank you for your prayers. There is no greater gift any person could give me at any time in my life, good or bad, than prayer for the strength of God to get me through. God bless you and yours.
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