I had a couple of friends reminding me after "Everything Happens For a Reason" that self-destructive behavior is normal under the circumstances of my past. However, I do have this way of taking things to extremes. I always say that it makes me sick when people use their past as an excuse for their poor decisions and bad behavior. If I sat here and blamed what had happened to me for my choices, that would make me a hypocrite.
So, I need to clarify something to all of you. I blame only myself for my past. My decisions were mine. I could have risen above circumstances, but chose to let my circumstances rise above me. I also refuse to look at the past and beat myself up for those bad decisions. I have to forgive myself in order to move on with my life. That is my choice now. I forgive all. I forgive myself and I forgive those around me who made poor choices that effected me. I cannot forget because I am human, and to forget the past is to doom yourself to repeat the mistakes of that past. I choose to no longer let that past and those past mistakes rule my future. I allowed that for too many years and I am done.
I am a child of an awesome God. He alone can lead me down the correct path in life. My choice now is to listen to His whispering voice, read His word, allow Him to lead me, and trust Him in all that happens from here on out. It's a matter of taking my life to extremes. I allowed myself to fall to one extreme that hurt me and many other people by choosing not to allow God to lead me and instead trying to lead myself. Now I will live the life of the opposite extreme. Do nothing without prayer. Say nothing without thought. Let everything I do show God's love to those around me.
I will stumble and nearly fall occasionally. I am human and will make mistakes. I will forgive myself and pray for His forgiveness. I will attempt to make amends where I am allowed and not dwell on those that won't allow it because all I can hope for in this life is God's love.
It isn't possible to live a life between the extremes. We are either living a life allowing God's will to lead us or we're not. We just have to choose which extreme we live by. I choose to live my life with God, not allowing my past to control me. When people throw my past in my face, I will pray for them and love them because that is what God would want me to do.
I am taking things to the extreme the way I should have all along. What about you?