Public Eye

I have a post I have been writing for many days now. It is a difficult post made more difficult by the melodrama that seems to intrude on my life at regular intervals these days. It seems the more I write about the past (which is the topic of the post I've been trying to write), the more difficult it becomes to deal with.  There is a reason for this. I live my life very much in the public eye, therefore my past and present are scrutinized by my blog readers more than some others. I have placed myself in this position for a reason. Any personal information I put out there for people to read is put out there to try to help others. I do not ask for money to support myself or my family. I am not looking for fame and fortune by doing what I do. I am simply trying to let others who have been through what I've been through know that they are not alone.

Please be aware, I do not put my entire life out there for everyone to see. There are parts of my life that are very personal and have nothing to do with my amnesia. Sometimes they get brought up, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to update you on the status of whatever that topic is every time it changes. This isn't always because I don't care for you to know. It's more because there are other more important things going on that I feel you all need to read.

Lately, some things have been put out there that I would have preferred been left private. I mentioned them, but didn't want them to become the giant, blown out of proportion thing that they became. This upset me for many reasons, not the least of which is that I didn't feel I was able to put information out there to help others. Instead, I felt like I was having to defend my every thought and deed, both past and present. This is unfair to myself and my readers who read this blog because they like having someone who understands there confusion and pain.

I am begging anyone who reads this to please respect the privacy I have chosen to retain. If you have more information about me than what I have put out there for everyone to know, that's because I wanted you to know, not that I want it broadcast for the world to see (or even for everyone I have on my Facebook to see.) If there is something that we have discussed between the two of us in the past that you would like a status report on, please feel free to message me. Don't post it on my Facebook wall for everyone to read. Private is private, even if it's private within family and close friends.

If there is something you have a little bit of information on, please don't feel like you know everything. Don't make assumptions based on past references. Especially if you haven't asked me for any further information (or talked to me at all) in several days (or weeks or months), don't think you have the full story. A lot has changed in just the last couple of weeks, let alone the last couple of months. If you make assumptions, and then broadcast those assumptions to everyone I will get defensive and even a little angry with you. It is not my job to answer to anyone besides God (above all), my children, the family that supports me, and those I have placed myself accountable to in order to push myself to be a better person.  If you are not included in that list, it is because you are either not close to me or have excluded yourself in other ways.

This post is not to hurt anyone's feelings, but there have been things posted to my Facebook wall by some people that have been hurtful and inappropriate (because they have been wrong, making assumptions based on old information). I have deleted many of those posts as soon as I realized they were there, but they kept coming. This is not all one person, but a few select people who don't have the whole story of the topic of their choice for one reason or another. Mostly because they don't ask me for updates, not because I choose to exclude them from my life.

If this group of people would like information on the subject matter of their choice, please message me privately (and nicely) and we can have a frank discussion on the matter. Otherwise, butt out. No one knows me completely except myself and God. I like it that way.