A Year of Encouragement

Now that I've recovered from my vacation, I need to get back to blogging. Yes, my body hates to travel, but thankfully it chooses only to inform me of this after I get home. Not that it took me the whole week to recover, but there was the fact that life goes on, things have to be done around the house, job applications need to be continually put out there, and my sister and I had a yard sale this weekend. All in all, two days of feeling like crap (one of which I actually took it easy for) was enough to screw up my blogging schedule royally!  So without further ado, here we go......again.

Pray

Just when my problems seem to be too big to handle, something happens to someone else to remind me how small my problems really are.  Here I am with a loving family and wonderful, supportive group of friends surrounding and supporting me. I have a roof over my head, food on my plate, and love surrounding me. I read about people who have lost everything, their jobs, their homes, their families, and I think "I wish I could help." Then I start to wonder, how can I truly help?

Remembrances

Yesterday I unpacked some things that just made me smile. A mug that I picked up when my oldest son and I went to Taquamenon Falls and another one that I picked up on Mackinac Island (both during the same class trip.) A mug that I got when my youngest son and I went to the zoo on a class trip. The kids hot chocolate mugs that friends gave us for Christmas a couple of years ago. My "Dragonfly Inn" coffee mug (well really soup mug, but I was really addicted to coffee!) that one of my best friends (almost wrote "besties" by accident. I really hate that word. I totally annoys me whenever someone writes in on FB. If you say it out loud it sounds like your calling someone a beast in a cutesy way. Ugh!) ummmmm......oh yeah....gave me for my birthday one year. Socks that I knitted for one of my boys. A sweater that I knitted for another. A hat of my oldest boy's filled with pins from that same Mackinac Island trip (I think he though it was gone, but YAY!! I have it.)

Angry Comments...{Tsk} So Sad

"Did you ever think that you used to hide who you really were from your family? Amber, you are the pathalogical liar here. The only people who you have fooled about having ANY amnesia are your parents, sister, and brother. Even your own children are seeing who you really are without your ex-husband saying anything. YOUR actions speak VOLUMES alone! Wether you choose to see it or not... "  Anonymous


Above is a comment by a "reader" to a recent blog post of my "Carried Away".  I put reader in quotes because I'm pretty sure I know who left this comment or at the least who they associate with. There is a group of people out there who believe that everything I say is a lie and make it a point to try to convince me I'm a worthless piece of crap every chance they get. I want to take the opportunity to say....{cough, cough} YOU ARE PATHETIC!!!

Hold On

A friend has passed away. One that I've only seen twice since I disappeared, but treated me with kindness and love throughout my entire life.  Now I sit here, close my eyes, and focus on her face. The flood of memories that are welling up surprise and delight me, but at the same time the tears come. Tears of joy that I was one of the privileged ones that loved and was loved by this woman, and tears of sadness that I won't have a proper opportunity to get to know her again. It is a reminder of something I had started to lose sight of....we have to hold on.

Hope Not Lost

How do I give hope to those that need it? It's something I've wanted to do since I was found. I want to help people realize how much them not losing hope that I would come home safe and sound meant to me. How much that thought keeps me going every day. I want more than anything to give back to the worlds what was given to me....love.

I always knew growing up, you have to give something to get something. I've realized recently that you have to give something to GIVE something, too. Not in every circumstance. I could volunteer at the local hospital or clean up local parks. I could dish out food at a local soup kitchen or knit caps for cancer patients. There are plenty of volunteer opportunities locally where I could give hope, and I am more than willing to give of my time there. But, what I really want to do is give hope to the families of the missing. I want them to see the face of someone who came home and realize that their loved one could easily do the same.

Back In "School"

I have been given an assignment.  My assignment is as follows. Tomorrow (Wednesday) and Thursday I am to watch one Star Wars movie each day. In fact I have been told to watch all of them starting with Episode I and going through in order. I am under orders to do the same with all of the Star Trek TV series, but that isn't part of this current assignment. Thursday night, I am to call him to discuss the storyline thus far and which at this point is my favorite character. I am sure at that point the assignment will be expanded to include more movies before the next time we talk on the phone.

Adventures with Friends (Including Family)

I love doing things with my friends. It makes my day when I can go out and enjoy some time with people who know how to laugh together and poke fun at each other without getting offended. My friends are my lifeline. They keep me from letting depression get the best of me. They force me out of the house when I don't want to go, because they know what's best for me (well, they like to think they do and it's cute so I let them get away with it.)

Every moment in life is special. The time you spend with the people you love doing new things....it's a big deal. Even doing not so new things, like the occassional jog or tennis "match" with my sister, walking with my friends, or just going to grab a bite to eat is something to be treasured. Value what you have when you have it, enjoy what you do when you are doing it, and, above all else, smile. You never know when you'll lose those moments. They are to be treasured!

Old Friend, New Friend

"We'll be old friends until we are senile. Then we'll be new friends evey day thereafter."

All I can say is, thank goodness I'm not senile. I don't think I'm ready to make new friends of my old friends every day of my life.  I'll just have to look at this as practice for old age.

Someone once asked me what it was like meeting my friends and family for the first time again.  What I think they really wanted to know was "What was it like for them?" Well, I'm not fully in my own head, so don't go asking me to crawl around in someone else's head to try and understand them.

Letter From a Reader

I received a letter today from a reader, who gave me permission to share it will you all.  I am copying it word for word, since I feel that she shared some powerful words of encouragement and insight.  Originally she was going to comment on one of the posts here, but it turned out to be too long, so instead she gets her own post.  Yay!!

"Thank you so much for sharing your story. That took a lot of courage and you have helped more people than you probably will ever know by doing so. If anyone is being a hater, putting you down, making fun, etc. just know that it isn't you who has mental issues, it is them and they are just jerks not someone who is truly struggling with a disability. Always remember this~ Those who judge don't matter and those who matter don't judge!

Support in Small Packages

I received an e-mail from  Jenny Lawson tonight. It wasn't lengthy or flowery, but it meant the world to me. It was six little words, but from someone who has been through really hard times and been honest and open to a wide audience about that to someone who just realized that is what she needs to do those six words made my night.

Whether it's a hug, a smile, a pat on the shoulder, or just a single encouraging word, just remmber friends and family, support in the smallest packages can make the biggest difference.

Sending you ALL such love!