Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Letter From a Reader

I received a letter today from a reader, who gave me permission to share it will you all.  I am copying it word for word, since I feel that she shared some powerful words of encouragement and insight.  Originally she was going to comment on one of the posts here, but it turned out to be too long, so instead she gets her own post.  Yay!!

"Thank you so much for sharing your story. That took a lot of courage and you have helped more people than you probably will ever know by doing so. If anyone is being a hater, putting you down, making fun, etc. just know that it isn't you who has mental issues, it is them and they are just jerks not someone who is truly struggling with a disability. Always remember this~ Those who judge don't matter and those who matter don't judge!
 I also have a disabiity which is not the same but I can relate to a lot of what you said and about how people treat you. I have a seizure disorder. When I have one I don't remember about an hour before the seizure and next memory is about an hour after one. Besides the time I'm actually seizing I can walk, talk, etc. but I am not myself nor do I remember it. I have had the police/ambulance come about 70 times in last year since they got really bad last September and I have been told how I act, what I've said, and what I've done (lol, good thing you can't get criminal charges for shoving an officer and yelling at them due to the mental state you are in after seizing which is a postictal state) I am saddened too at the toll it doesn't just take on me, but my loved ones who have to actually witness them and have found me in some pretty dangerous situations. I did not tell many people about this disability for a long time, I thought they would be too scared to have me around in case I had one with them there, but found out that my true friends in no way want me to not come around them. I have been treated like crap from many docs due to amount of trips to ER, they judge and hold it against me~I DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE MEDICAL HELP IF AMBULANCE IS CALLED AND I CAN'T ANSWER THEIR QUESTIONS WELL ENOUGH! SO DO NOT TREAT ME LIKE A DRUG SEEKING ER PATIENT! I have humbled myself to wear a helmet around the house and when I'm outside, but not in public. I have to make light of it and laugh about myself, it's the only way to make it through sometimes. People with "invisible disabilities" face many social challenges when it comes to how people treat something that isn't visible, like a broken leg or amputation. They are just either flat out heartless or truly don't know any better. Either way it does hurt and somedays are better than others when it comes to how I handle it. The human brain is so very complex that when it comes to your issue as well as mine it is very difficult to get an accurate,pin pointed diagnosis and cure. We just have to find strength to keep keeping on and not give up on getting better. It's not easy I know. I've learned a lot about life and people from my disability experiences and it has actually enhanced some friendships and as crazy as it sounds one of the police officers that came many times is now one of both my boyfriend and my close friends (outside of his work). Not to sound preachy but God works through people,you just proved it. You just delivered a very good message to some people who may have desperatly needed it right now. You set yourself aside and did what was right and selfless. A beautiful random act of kindness! Something is wrong with the physiology of my brain, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. I am not a seizure who goes by the name of Amber, I am Amber who happens to have a seizure disorder. I WILL NOT let my disability define me nor will I let others define me by it. I don't want pity, I don't want attention, I just want a normal life and if that doesn't happen I just want people to treat me like they did before I revealed to the world that I have a medical condition. We are not contagious, we are not less than, and we definitly are not damaged goods! We actually have been given the opportunity (and almost duty) to advocate for those who aren't strong enough to come forward and share. Again, I know we are going through 2 totally different issues but I could truly feel your pain, frustration, and the energy of a fighter while reading your story. I felt a true connection. Smile at those haters and let them be your motivaters! You know you are not what they say and that's all that really matters, if they are so miserable that they have to spend their time and energy judging and putting you down then it is them that I feel bad for, they have nothing better to do than that? Sad. Be thankful you are not them, I sure am. I hope this made sense to you and we have a mutual friend (name starts with a D) and if you ever need anyone to talk to feel free to get my number from her. I don't care if you don't remember our conversation the next day, I don't judge unless I've walked a mile in someone's shoes and so far that hasn't happened, lol. btw, I am also ADHD too which I get much ridicule over due to my lack of ability to focus on things sometimes and it has caused me to be known as a very ditzy person. I may have my moments, but I know I am not stupid nor ignorant, I am sincerely smart and know it....whether they see me that way or not is out of my control and waste of energy worrying about what others think. Hey, at least we have a legit reason for some of the stuff we do, some do the same things we are harrassed about but have no reason for it. Stay strong, know that you are not alone, and thank you....you've touched at least one person's life tonight, (me) and tonight I needed to hear your story. God bless and I pray for your health, strength to keep fighting, and for all those miserable mean people out there who truly need more prayer than us! Again, remember this saying i have to remind myself of daily~ Those who judge don't matter and those who matter don't judge...period. Amber"

Thank you Amber, for this heartfelt response. Always remember, you are not alone in your struggles. There are people that care about you, I am one of them. I will be praying for you daily.

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GROUP HUG!!!! Friends make everything better.

GROUP HUG!!!! Friends make everything better.