How do I give hope to those that need it? It's something I've wanted to do since I was found. I want to help people realize how much them not losing hope that I would come home safe and sound meant to me. How much that thought keeps me going every day. I want more than anything to give back to the worlds what was given to me....love.
I always knew growing up, you have to give something to get something. I've realized recently that you have to give something to GIVE something, too. Not in every circumstance. I could volunteer at the local hospital or clean up local parks. I could dish out food at a local soup kitchen or knit caps for cancer patients. There are plenty of volunteer opportunities locally where I could give hope, and I am more than willing to give of my time there. But, what I really want to do is give hope to the families of the missing. I want them to see the face of someone who came home and realize that their loved one could easily do the same.
I also want people to realize that me coming home with amnesia doesn't necessarily mean that is what will happen for their loved one. I had a lot of fear, depression, anger, and stress in my life. My mind's way of dealing with it was to disassociate and forget. Not everyone will have left with that same reaction, but alot of people that go missing in a situation not related to foul play probably leave for many of the same reasons I did. Whether they decide conciously to do it or subconciously as I did, they are sill going to have to deal with the same ammount of cleaning up of their mess when they get home as I did. I want to give them hope, too. Hope that they CAN come home and pick up the pieces of a broken life. It won't be easy, I'll never lie and tell them that, but it can be done (AND SHOULD BE DONE!)
But (here's the give something to GIVE something part), in order to be in a position to give to the community of the missing and those that miss them I have to have money to back me up. I have to have the ability to travel and put myself out there into the public eye. I have to be able to put the pieces of my life back together better than I have so I can say honestly to those people that have walked away from their lives (because they wanted to or because they had no choice) that it's okay to come home. I want to be a part of an organization that can help people come home and get the treatments they need and then help them contact friends and family, make any necessary apologies, and get a semblance of a normal life back.
Oh, there are great organizations to help people who have missing loved ones and they don't abandon the families after the people come home, but the people I have a desire to help are the ones who come home. I have a deep seated desire to help those that don't feel they can come home do just that. In that way I can give hope, not only to the families of missing persons, but also to the missing persons themselves.
This is the burden that has been placed in my heart. This is what I feel God is leading me to do. This is what I cannot do because I can't get a job and don't have the ability to back my fervent wish up. I have nothing to give but myself, and that just isn't enough.
Still, if I can help one family in their suffering to not lose hope, I feel that what happened to my family and friends (and myself) has served a purpose. No matter how small the hope, if it's not lost than I feel I have done some good.