Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Back In "School"

I have been given an assignment.  My assignment is as follows. Tomorrow (Wednesday) and Thursday I am to watch one Star Wars movie each day. In fact I have been told to watch all of them starting with Episode I and going through in order. I am under orders to do the same with all of the Star Trek TV series, but that isn't part of this current assignment. Thursday night, I am to call him to discuss the storyline thus far and which at this point is my favorite character. I am sure at that point the assignment will be expanded to include more movies before the next time we talk on the phone.

This would be my son TJ who has decide he will tutor me in the ways of present day t.v. and movies.  He has given me such assignments in the past, but not many. He has decided it is time for me to know more often what he is talking about when we are on the phone. And, I'm loving every second of it.

I love the fact that he wants us to have a connection, even on such a small thing as having movies and TV shows to discuss when we are on the phone. I wish I could have a small connection with all of my kids when we talk on the phone, but this is a good start.

I wish I remembered more of our past together, so I could reminisce with them, but it works out that they get to remind me of things we've done together. They enjoy that one small aspect of my amnesia, although I wouldn't be surprised if that was all they enjoyed about this. It's good to look for a silver lining, and my kids are great at that. However, things have been tense lately. I am very much to blame for this.

I haven't stayed in contact as I should. I've put effort into it, but not nearly as much as I should have. I am getting better, but I still have a long way to go. I should send more cards and letters, although that costs money (stamps aren't cheap). I should call more often, but my phone has been turned off. (Not having a job and not receiving any income of any kind tends to take it's toll on lifestyle to a severe degree. It's a good thing I have friends and family willing to help out as they can. Otherwise, I wouldn't have car insurance and thus no car.)

That's part of the reason that I'm loving this current assignment. TJ is ensuring, in his own little way, that I will call because we already have something to connect over. I'm hoping I can start doing the same with the other boys. With Patrick, it's harder because he doesn't live with his dad anymore, but I'd still like to try. Lee is a little reticent on the phone, but he's almost a teenage boy and has ADHD, so getting his attention to stay on a phone call isn't easy, but I love that he tries. I should have talked longer to him tonight and am kicking myself for it, but I can't go back and change that.  I'll just try harder Thursday night. All I can do is work toward the future, not keep regretting the past. Whenever I talk to Emily we tend to have plenty to say to each other. Still, I'd like to have an assignment from her to try to help us connect better.

Getting a better relationship with my kids is the most important thing to me, and if I have to go back to "school" to do it SO BE IT!!

“Always walk through life as if you have something new to learn and you will.”  ~ Vernon Howard

"If you give your son [or daughter] only one gift, let it be enthusiasm." ~ Bruce Barton

1 comment:

  1. You will like them I think. That's the sort of cool thing TJ would come up with. Still a little weirded out about the Patrick thing & very concerned. Remember Lee listens with his eyes. Maybe he & Em could Skype with you sometime.


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