Do any of you realize that we aren't following the script? What do you mean "What script?" I mean the script that follows the plot of a poorly written Hollywood movie. Don't you realize that if you have an illness, you're supposed to miraculously recover? Or, if you have hard time in your life, everything turns out perfect in the end, even if you break the law?! Or, if you have amnesia, someone comes back into your life and suddenly you remember everything and you live happily ever after?!?!
I watched part of a movie last night that just makes me realize just how wrong we're getting it. In the movie "Overboard", a woman falls off a ship and ends up in the hospital with amnesia. A man she was rotten to finds her and pretends that she's his wife. He takes her home and hilarity ensues until her real husband comes and gets her. As soon as she sees him, she remembers everything and they leave her new life behind. In the end she leaves her husband to live the rest of her life with the man that lied to her about who she was, because in the movies it's okay to be a rotten person if in the end you love someone.
It came back to me as I watched this movie, that I was angry with myself when this didn't happen to me. I didn't suddenly remember everything the first time I saw my parents. I thought there was something wrong with me. I truly think that other people feel the same way about my situation. The worst thing that anyone ever said to me was "I believe that you had amnesia, but I don't think you have it anymore." I'm going to let all of you know that you don't "get over" amnesia. It doesn't work that way, because no matter how much you remember, you always wonder how much you don't.
I know I don't have anything close to all of my memories back because I don't remember my ex-husband or much to do with our marriage. I don't remember having my babies. I don't remember watching them grow up. I look at pictures of them as babies and have to be told which one I'm looking at. I see posts by people with specifics of when, where, how, and measurements regarding births of their children and I cry because I don't have the memories to put that information out there proudly. That information isn't going to pop into my head one day and make everything all better unless I'm really lucky.
Insead, I've found that studying my personal history is the best that I can do. I look at old journals and read about things I did with family and friends. More than anything I'm patient, and just wait for the memories to unfold in their own sweet time.
Either that, or I'm just too stubborn to do things Hollywood's way!! Have your people call my people....we'll do lunch!!