What Was That?!?! (Hint: It's name is Jar Jar)

Well, I did it. I watched Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. It was........ummmmm, unexpected. I vaguely recall Star Wars from when I was a kid, and although everything I watch from when I was a kid is way worse that what I recall, I'm pretty sure Star Wars Episode I was actually a mockery of the original Star Wars. The whole movie was unrealistic in a way that was rediculous even for sci-fi. I think my brain is in shock.

Don't get me wrong, the kid was cute. (Although, since when did Anakin Skywalker build C3PO. What a load that is, huh?) I really like Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, and kinda like Natalie Portman (I understand she did an excellent job in Black Swan) but a few big names didn't make the movie better, just more disappointing. In the end, all the movie succeeded in doing is making me just really confused (not that that's hard to do, but SOOOO not the point right now.)

Please don't misunderstand what I'm saying, I don't think the movie was completely bad.  The graphics were cool.  (I'm sure when I get up to watching the original trilogy I'll probably look at the graphics and think "Whoa!" or something equally as expressive.) It's just that, the characters were kinda weird/creepy. Obi-Wan wasn't old (which I know makes sense, but for some reason I really had to wrap my mind around that concept), Darth Vader was a really cute kid (yet another one of those "gotta wrap my mind around this" moments), and there was this creature with flappy ears that made me want to reach through the screen and tie his ears around his mouth so he would just stop talking!! Jar Jar must die!

In case you're wondering, I do know quite a bit about Star Wars. That's what happens when you live in a family of geeks. (And, there's nothing wrong with that, people. Growing up in a family of geeks is the best thing in the world!! Don't knock it.)  Also, I'm a big fan of sites like Cracked.com and Epbot which wouldn't work out so well if I didn't have some geekiness ingrained in me. Therefore, I have done some research and heard some things. What can I say, it's what I do.

Still, tomorrow is Episode II and probably Friday will be Episode III. From what I heard, I have little to no hope of it improving until I get into the original trilogy. In fact, I'm pretty sure that characterization and plot will only degrade further as the series goes on to such an extent that I will be left a drooling, sobbing lump in the corner my room before I reach the original trilogy, which from what my brother says they've also changed, so even then it may not get better and I'll just never want anything to do with Star Wars again when the six-day challenge is completed. (pause, taking deep, calming breaths)

I'm gonna go watch some Supernatural to take my mind off this travesty they dare to call Star Wars. Maybe Sam and Dean can help me come up with ways to get rid of creepy big-eared things called Jar Jar.