On my drive home last night, I was considering honesty. Recently I was lied to about something that majorly influences my job and, consequently, my life. This really upset me, and I ended up in a royal snit the last couple of nights. Sometimes life just affects people that way, I suppose. Especially if you let other people's honesty be that important to you.
Then I started thinking about all the times I lied. Lies of omission, lies of "kindness", lies of the most malicious and purposeful intent, unintentional lies, broken promises......the list goes on and on.
I find myself now wondering, when is it necessary to lie and how much honesty is too much honesty. Do I over share here on my blog, where it is easiest for me to be honest, and I hope it will help others? Do I not share enough to really make a difference or allow people a peek into my crazy mind? I know there are a lot of things I have yet to share, if I ever choose to. I assume you are all aware of that also. Does this bother those that follow me and read my blog? How much or little of myself do I need to provide to others for it to be enough, or too much?
Do I really care?
A large part of me writes this blog for me. I don't like talking about my feelings and deep thoughts, but they are there and this gives me a way to share. Whether or not anyone ever reads this again, it's a public journal of sorts. It makes me feel better that I put things I keep mostly bottled up out in the open where someone could stumble across it, and maybe understand a piece of me just a little bit.
But, am I putting too much out there? Am I opening myself up to being hurt beyond what I can handle, or can I truly not care, keep sharing, and assume the help outweighs the hurt?
I suppose I won't get any answers. All I can do is try to keep sharing bits of me with the knowledge that consequences of being honest will be forthcoming, because we live in a world where lies are acceptable and truth is punishable by hateful words, hurtful actions, ridicule and scorn.