Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Based on this poster, I have a very large family. I have many people whom I've never met in person who still make me a part of their life. People who accept me for who I am, the good, the bad, and the really, REALLY ugly. They send me goofiness over Facebook or e-mail and tell me regularly that they are praying for me just as I am praying for them. Some days the reminders from these people that I am loved are very needed.
It's so easy to let myself forget that I am loved. Some days I see so much of the bad in me that I forget there is good. I remember so many rotten things that, at times, they overshadow the good. Or the good things that I remember are twisted by other people in my life to be proven that they were just a lie, which is worse than an actual bad memory. Worse because it feels like someone has taken something beautiful and crushed it until it's unrecognizable, then poured bleach on it just to make sure the job was done right.
I have some very precious memories that, as they have returned to me, sustained me through some very dark hours. Then, recently, someone informed me that all the good memories I have of us together were a lie. They never really liked me, but used me to make their life easier because they were going through something difficult. Funny, but it sounds like I was displaying the love I had for that person, they just refused to accept it.
The love I have for this person has not, and will not, change. I still want this person in my life, with a changed relationship of course, but still there. I accept them for who they are, the good, the bad, and the really, REALLY ugly. I would do anything to see this person smile again, even if the only way for that to happen is to just leave them alone. (i.e. Still be there, but not invading. Keeping my distance, but being available when they decide they need me, even if it's just to use me to make a difficult situation easier.) And, most of all, I will love this person no matter what. Adding one more item, not there but most important, I will pray for this person to find joy and forgiveness.
Sometimes the people we love the least is blood, but we love them because we have to. Sometimes the person we love the most is the one who loves us the least. In the end, God will see us through. If we continue to love one another, than we are making use of the greatest resources He provided us with, EACH OTHER.