Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Getting Better At This

It's amazing how God chooses to work in our lives. I though the decision to have a yard sale was just a way to consolidate mine and my sister's homes and make a little cash. God had other plans, obviously. Plans besides the devious "I'll completely wear her out moving around boxes for the next couple of weeks so that she won't feel up to doing anything come vacation time. Bwahahahahaha!!" (No, I don't really thing God is devious, it just felt like it yesterday when I couldn't move because my hip kept shifting in the joint. Not good. NOT GOOD!!!)

He is using this amazing opportunity of me going through nearly everything I own (some of the boxes of kids toys was just scary and I left well enough alone after one glance.) At first, it was really hard. I would look at some things and memories would come shooting into my head. Those were the easy things to take out and know what to do with. Then there were the items I would pull out and stare at for a while before I would shake my head and decide that I'm destined to not have any clue where it came from or if it held any significance for me. Those were the ones that made me want to cry.

However, as the week flew by, and even better as the weekend progressed, I ran into that problem less and less. I even started remembering the significance behind some of the things I had pulled out previously. It's no less exciting to me today than it was nearly a year ago when I remember something.

I still remember pacing my hospital room waiting for my doctor to come in because I couldn't contain my burst of energy that came with remembering my name. Of course, it wasn't my actual name because I remembered my maiden name not my married name, but I didn't know that at the time. I felt like a kid at Christmas.  It was like I had opened the best, most exciting gift a person could ask for. It's still like that when I'm going through a box and pull out something that, at first, I just can't place. Then suddenly it comes back to me.

The best moment for me was going through the kids stuffed animals. The kids stuff has been especially hard. I think partly because I feel like there is a rift there that will never be mended, so my mind overcompensates for the stress and doesn't remember things as easily as I would like. It was a true testament of how far my recovery had come, then, when I pulled out stuffed animal after stuffed animal and knew the stories behind it. Not only did I remember who it belonged to and how they had gotten it, I also remembered when and how they felt about it!! Talk about exciting.

Okay, well maybe not to everyone. But, to me there is no sweeter thing in this world besides memories. Getting back the old and creating the new. I treasure it all.  Especially now that I'm getting better at this.

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GROUP HUG!!!! Friends make everything better.