I discovered something tonight that surprised me. Mostly because I thought I had grown past it, but apparently I was VERY wrong. It still really hurts when someone makes it a point to tell people that they don't believe I have (or even had) amnesia. Scratch that. It doesn't bother me when someone doesn't believe me, it bothers me when they use that disbelief mingled with cruelty to make a joke out of my situation. If you don't believe what happened to me, that's fine. If you want to make it public fodder that you don't believe me, that's fine too. If you want to poke fun at me, that's okay. It's when you combine all of that with cruelty that it gets to me.
And there's the real rub. People will believe what they want to believe. I accept that fully. However, we are commanded to treat others with love and compassion as Jesus would do. The person that did this doesn't surprise me, even though he claims he is a Christian, because cruelty and mean-spirited jokes are all I ever see in him. The person that chose to copy and paste to their Facebook page, well I thought they were a better person than that, but apparently, I was wrong.
Do people really think that just because I have amnesia I don't cry when the people that I love the most disbelieve and, worse yet, mock my situation? Would you walk past someone who was missing a leg or an arm and make fun of them just because you can? I would hope the answer is no. However, when you encounter someone who is missing chunks of their life, you will mock them because, hey, if you can't see the injury then obviously it's not real, right?!?!?!?
So, all the times you claimed that your feelings were hurt, well, I guess I can poke fun at that hurt because since I can't see it, it must not be real? That is the attitude you have chosen to claim, so don't whine when you encounter it in others.
I hurt, just like everyone else. I make mistakes just like everyone else. I get sick just like everyone else. I overwork myself to "pull myself up by my bootstraps" in order to make life better for everyone who touches mine, just like a good number of people out there.
Just once, I would like you to see me when I read one of your cruel posts or comments. Just once I'd like all of you people who say what you want, not knowing or caring that it hurts someone else, to be in the room when I curl into a ball and cry from the barbs you sent my way. Just once I'd like you to be here when a really tough memory comes back and I have to relive all that I did and all that was done to me. Just once, I'd like you to have to be in my shoes, live my life, and experience what I've experienced.
Have your fun if you must, but don't EVER come crying to me again when I "ruin your reputation" because I tell the truth about what a jerk you were to me at any given time in my life. You ruin mine every time you open your mouth about me or decide to make stupid, cruel jokes/comments. All you've done is prove to me that you aren't making any effort to be Christlike.