Friday, June 15, 2012


Yes, I know I've been AWOL for a while. Sorry about that. Things are getting more hectic in my household as my sister and I prepare to move back up to Michigan. Add to that the job search (that's becoming a bit frustrating since nothing is panning out at this time) and a recently SUPER stressful issue I had with Friend of the Court that turned out better than it could have and not as well as I would have liked, and I'm left with a feeling of exhaustion that is impossible to describe.

The next few months are going to be trying ones. I have to come up with something to pay towards child support whether I have a job or not. I'm not against this, but it hasn't been working out very well yet. None of my endeavors have panned out. Being told that you must not be working hard enough to look for a job when I put in 10 resumes on a normal day, closer to 15 or 20 on a really good day is frustrating. Being told that your efforts to survive aren't good enough and if your family can come up with the money to support you, they should be able to come up with the money to pay something towards your child support is also frustrating. I feel like I'm being punished for the economy being crappy. I am also beginning to think that some of the people that work for Friend of the Court have such high job security that they've lost touch with the grim reality the rest of us are living in. It is hard to find a job. I'm applying for everything that makes sense around here, which is now only part/full time gas station attendants and waitresses. Still looking!!! Don't tell me I'm not working hard enough at it just because you don't like the results. I don't like the results either, but that doesn't mean I'm going to treat others like crap. I'm also looking for jobs in Michigan. That's a lot of places I have to apply to every day!! I'm working my butt off and being told it's still not good enough?!?!?!

*Deep breath* Sorry, rant over.

Now I'm working on crafting a lot of items to sell on Etsy. That and Avon are all I have right now and they are just going to have to be good enough. Pray, pray, pray!!

Last night, however, I was laying in bed just thinking about my life (what I can remember anyway) and what it would feel like to move back to Michigan. It will be wonderful to be home. Still, last time I was there I was completely overwhelmed by the flood of memories that came back to me every day, and those barely scratched the surface. Will it happen again? Will I find that I haven't remembered as much about my life as I have hoped? I know there are people on my Facebook page that I still don't remember. I may remember what part of my life they were from, but I don't remember them - their personalities, who they are to me. I'm sure there are places that I will go to/drive past/see in the newspaper/etc. and just be bombarded with memories of what occurred there. Am I looking forward to this or dreading it? I'll let you know once it starts happening, until then I can't define how I feel to anyone else since I can't define it to myself.

Also, I will try harder not to disappear on y'all again, but no promises.

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GROUP HUG!!!! Friends make everything better.

GROUP HUG!!!! Friends make everything better.