I'm in the hallway on a bed, because they are so packed that they don't have a room for me, with my coat over my head to block out the glaringly bright lights, and the doctor asks me "Have you ever been hospitalized for any headaches like this before? Have you ever had a CT scan? Have you ever had a lumbar puncture?" Ummmmm....question #1: I don't know. The rest I'm pretty sure they did 3 years ago in the hospital in Joliet. "How can you not know if you've ever been hospitalized for headaches?" Sigh. Where's my medical history expert when I need her.
At this point, I realize I have to go into a somewhat detailed explanation of what happened. After I was done, he asked me the dumbest question I get asked all the time, "What all do you think you don't remember?" REALLY!! You're a doctor and you're asking me that. Honestly, I thought I was doing really well lately, until he started asking me questions about my medical history that I just couldn't be sure of. But, that does not mean I will ever have an answer for that question. How can you know what you don't remember? Think about that for just a minute. Let it sink in, nice and deep. Now, look in the mirror. That confused expression on your face....add a little bit of disgust and that's what I look like when people ask me stuff like that.
Back to the matter at hand, though...now I have to wonder, will it be this way for the rest of my life? Will people ask me questions and I have to answer with something ambivalent, like "I don't think so", "maybe", "it's hard to say", or my favorite "I don't remember"? (The expression people pull with that last one is priceless.) Or, maybe we can put our head together and come up with something classy and clever. Got any suggestions, people?
I have now had nurses, insurance consultants, friends, family, non-friends/family, and A DOCTOR ask me a question about amnesia, that if you took 10 seconds would realize will get a look from me of the "are you kidding me? That's a really bad joke right?" variety. The doctor was the most shocking of the bunch. If my neurologist pulls out a question like that, it will trump them all. (And, I may have to fire him, because I don't want you in charge of diagnosing my head if you ask something like that. I'd be questioning everything you tell me from that point forward.)